Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I reveal my secret anagram

Now that my full name's been posted on the web, sabotaging future job prospects and jump-starting my FBI file (so comforting to know that waterboarding is not torture, it just feels like it!), it's time for me to reveal the shocking feature of my seemingly respectable name. As we know, anagrams contain all knowledge and insight. And it turns out that "Rachel Florence Gray" anagrams to...
Forge carnal lechery.
Yeah... what can I say? But! I have a confirmation name to add now! When I realized this I flew over to the Internet Anagram Server to learn my new true identity, as anagrammed from "Rachel Francis Florence Gray". There were a few false starts, such as:
A Farcical Corn Greenly Fresh
Freelancing Charcoal Fryers
which suggest that any summer barbeque I might put on would be of uneven quality. Also there was:
Frilly Fragrance Encroaches
an apparent reference to the unfortunate habit of wearing overwhelming flowery perfume in crowded enclosed spaces. And there's a prayerful variation:
Rosary Chancel Fern Cafe Girl

which makes me picture myself praying in church with lots of little tables and potted plants around. But anyway, then I found this, and recognized it at once as my true anagram name:
Archangels: Fiercer Falconry!
How cool is that? Falconry is a life-or-death sport in which your trained falcon takes to the skies to kill smaller prey and bring the bloody little corpse back to you. So what's even fiercer than a falcon? An ARCHANGEL, that's what, who will take to the skies to slaughter the principalities, the powers, the world rulers of this present darkness, and then deliver their bloody little corpses back to me! Or perhaps I shouldn't push the analogy quite that far....


Rachel Ann said...

This is hilarious...

James Bernard said...

Fierce Falcontrix, Would you please bring your bird to church and teach him to descend on and disembowel cell phones the instant they disrupt? On Easter Wednesday, the same culprit went off four times by the proclamation of the Gospel. I began the homily mildly chastising and then moved on with Master and disciples toward Emmaus when the evil thing went off a fifth time! I made a couple of suggestions on what should be done with these devices, (none obscene); just, 'leave them in the car' or 'take the battery out'. They said my vermilion countenance made a considerable contrast against the green and white Easter lilies, the white chasuble, the white altar cloth, the white walls. I read about a priest in Brazil who built a "jammer" so signals could not be received in the temple. The government confiscated it. But you could teach your sharp eyed hawk to recognize Feds.