Unfortunately, Rachel...

Have you seen this meme? Google "unfortunately [your name here]" in quotes and see what you get. :) My results:

Unfortunately, Rachel can't be left alone and the social services needed for her to live an "adult life" are unavailable.

Unfortunately, Rachel’s little plan withers and almost dies when she discovers that what she thought was going to be the man of her dreams is actually an old classmate she herself left heartbroken several years before.

Unfortunately, Rachel’s knack for getting into trouble attracts a different kind of attention, but her way of viewing the world, full of hilarious personal theories, allows her to rationalize the unfairness of life.

Unfortunately, Rachel chose to ignore precautions. The choice ultimately led to her murder

Unfortunately, Rachel has yet to contact me for our first date.

Unfortunately, Rachel was never claimed by anyone.

Unfortunately, Rachel was crushed to death that day.

Unfortunately, Rachel's vigilante lifestyle and independent nature clash with Rodney's deep devotion and desire to marry.

Unfortunately, Rachel is wearing my grandmother's curtains.

Unfortunately, Rachel had already ordered the ladder to be removed and I could do nothing but cling to the crown of the tree.

Unfortunately, Rachel becomes dangerously infatuated with Professor Starkman, and decides that she'll be his teaching assistant, no matter what the cost.

Unfortunately, Rachel was downright unattractive and proved to be distracting to look at.